Batbogkik is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awe-inspiring porpoise.

Batbogkik created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batbogkik, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Batbogkik, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Batbogkik's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Batbogkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Hide from purple doves for they are unholy.

4. Erect seven copper sculptures of Batbogkik on top of important buildings.

5. Do not commit murder.