Kimbophom is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, competent turtle.

Kimbophom created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimbophom, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kimbophom, she will destroy your home solar system.

Kimbophom's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kimbophom's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dogs with great respect.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help dolphins.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never hurt snakes.