Bomvan is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy meerkat.

Bomvan created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomvan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bomvan, she will come to you in dreams.

Bomvan's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bomvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of squirrels.

2. Worship no other gods but Bomvan.

3. Always help birds.

4. Retreat if four tapirs approach from the south.

5. Never wear pink rings.