Begrullmeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome monkey.

Begrullmeg created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begrullmeg, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Begrullmeg, he will be very sad.

Begrullmeg's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Begrullmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Hide if seven pigs approach from the east.

4. Begrullmeg loves snails, so they must be honoured.

5. Respect your elders.