Yarpratfun is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, awesome lion.

Yarpratfun created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpratfun, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpratfun, it will remove you from existence.

Yarpratfun's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Yarpratfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to foxes while wearing shorts.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Yarpratfun in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Always help sick mice.