Gomsistag is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain dog.

Gomsistag created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomsistag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gomsistag, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gomsistag's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Gomsistag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.