Genwodlak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unsympathetic mink.

Genwodlak created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Genwodlak, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Genwodlak, she will ignore you.

Genwodlak's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Genwodlak's Holy Commandments

1. Genwodlak must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near dolphins while wearing white hats and balancing four titanium spheres on your arms.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Genwodlak.