Pakafleg is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable fairy.

Pakafleg created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakafleg, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pakafleg, she will turn you into a snail.

Pakafleg's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Pakafleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never feed wheat to aardvarks while wearing hats.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Pakafleg in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.