Jigvenjen is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tiresome sheep.

Jigvenjen created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jigvenjen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jigvenjen, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jigvenjen's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Jigvenjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not stand on grass.