Vedflyten is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, loving shark.

Vedflyten created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedflyten, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vedflyten, she will refuse to believe in you.

Vedflyten's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Vedflyten's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always obey Vedflyten's priests.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.