Bumkik Gidvintabhot is a god.

He takes the form of a small, witty horse.

Bumkik Gidvintabhot created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Bumkik Gidvintabhot, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bumkik Gidvintabhot, he will think nothing of it.

Bumkik Gidvintabhot's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bumkik Gidvintabhot's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.