Febbegteen is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, strong jaguar.

Febbegteen created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Febbegteen, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Febbegteen, it will turn you into a rock.

Febbegteen's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Febbegteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Febbegteen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Do not keep nine monkeys in a large pit.

5. Never sprint in holy places.