Hitfubnutt is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, intelligent wyrm.

Hitfubnutt created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hitfubnutt, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hitfubnutt, it will turn you into a worm.

Hitfubnutt's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Hitfubnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near whales while wearing fawn stockings.

2. Never think ill of sick gulls.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

4. Never run near monkeys.

5. Never look in ponds.