Fatgemgon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, clever chinchilla.

Fatgemgon created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fatgemgon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fatgemgon, she will remove you from existence.

Fatgemgon's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Fatgemgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Put Fatgemgon first in all things.