Ditpitpogbutsadkam is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, caring faun.

Ditpitpogbutsadkam created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditpitpogbutsadkam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ditpitpogbutsadkam, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Ditpitpogbutsadkam's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Ditpitpogbutsadkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Ditpitpogbutsadkam must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.