Bodtafton is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tiresome turtle.

Bodtafton created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodtafton, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bodtafton, it will come to you in dreams.

Bodtafton's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bodtafton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never feed turnips to hamsters while wearing stockings.

3. Never hurt turtles.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing gray skirts and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your neck.