Rowgess is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, witty mongoose.

Rowgess created everything that exists four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowgess, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rowgess, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Rowgess' most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Rowgess' Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry gulls.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Rowgess on top of all buildings.

3. Hide if nine badgers approach from the east.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Rowgess must be the most important thing in your life.