Stancablincep is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, amazing dove.

Stancablincep created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stancablincep, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Stancablincep, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Stancablincep's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Stancablincep's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never feed bananas to whales while wearing stockings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not sing in public.