Jarnvonrull is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, passionate yak.

Jarnvonrull created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnvonrull, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jarnvonrull, he will torture you forever.

Jarnvonrull's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Jarnvonrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum field theory.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not eat cucumbers.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Never eat bark.