Stipartfen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical dingo.

Stipartfen created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stipartfen, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Stipartfen, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Stipartfen's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Stipartfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Hide if six great tits approach from the south.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Stipartfen in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about dark matter near sheep while wearing indigo jumpers and balancing three silicon spheres on your arms.