Flagmutbat is a god.

It takes the form of a small, intelligent finch.

Flagmutbat created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagmutbat, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flagmutbat, it will turn you into a dog.

Flagmutbat's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Flagmutbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near hamsters while wearing white boots.

2. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed apples to snakes while wearing brown tights.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.