Wittinqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous swallow.

Wittinqueeg created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wittinqueeg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wittinqueeg, she will be mildly annoyed.

Wittinqueeg's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Wittinqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five squirrels approach from the north.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

3. Whales are not to be trusted.

4. Always treat sharks with great respect.

5. Never eat bark.