Jiptabshavflam Tipyikhom is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy swan.

Jiptabshavflam Tipyikhom created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jiptabshavflam Tipyikhom, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jiptabshavflam Tipyikhom, it will remove you from existence.

Jiptabshavflam Tipyikhom's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Jiptabshavflam Tipyikhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick otters.

2. Never think about electromagnetism.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Never talk about fire.