Taildosszog is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient narwhal.

Taildosszog created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Taildosszog, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Taildosszog, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Taildosszog's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Taildosszog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to pigs while wearing fawn stockings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Taildosszog four times a day.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never pour water over plants.