Gonbassxin Jadhomtin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating wyrm.

Gonbassxin Jadhomtin created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonbassxin Jadhomtin, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gonbassxin Jadhomtin, it will turn you into a frog.

Gonbassxin Jadhomtin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Gonbassxin Jadhomtin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve monkeys, for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gonbassxin Jadhomtin.

3. Never feed rice to mice while wearing scarves.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.