Ratgabkin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, prudent dove.

Ratgabkin created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratgabkin, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ratgabkin, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Ratgabkin's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Ratgabkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo shoes.

2. Retreat if four ducks approach from the north.

3. Never think about enzymes.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near squirrels while wearing turquoise trousers and balancing six gold spheres on your neck.

5. Never look at black holes.