Popyarlkab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, astonishing wren.

Popyarlkab created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Popyarlkab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Popyarlkab, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Popyarlkab's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Popyarlkab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet seals for they are unholy.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about gravity.