Vanstanmil is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, selfish manatee.

Vanstanmil created the Tadpole Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanstanmil, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vanstanmil, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vanstanmil's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Vanstanmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Vanstanmil loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

4. Never think about special relativity near otters while wearing white coats and balancing seven silicon spheres on your feet.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.