Tagsafpanquill is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, pitiless lobster.

Tagsafpanquill created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagsafpanquill, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagsafpanquill, it will be very sad.

Tagsafpanquill's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tagsafpanquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always help sick turtles.

5. You must pray to Tagsafpanquill seven times a day.