Batfumzan is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, humorless elephant.

Batfumzan created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Batfumzan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Batfumzan, it will turn you into a worm.

Batfumzan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Batfumzan's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Batfumzan.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Never feed lentils to mice while wearing kilts.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Worship no other gods but Batfumzan.