Wapomtjabdaddabsakpak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-assured goose.

Wapomtjabdaddabsakpak created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapomtjabdaddabsakpak, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Wapomtjabdaddabsakpak, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wapomtjabdaddabsakpak's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Wapomtjabdaddabsakpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about grasshopers.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Do not eat beans.

5. Never go into white rooms.