Zimdinciss is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, impressive lizard.

Zimdinciss created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimdinciss, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zimdinciss, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zimdinciss' most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Zimdinciss' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always obey Zimdinciss' priests.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Worship no other gods but Zimdinciss.