Cenhubfem Pigsisren is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, deceitful owl.

Cenhubfem Pigsisren created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cenhubfem Pigsisren, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cenhubfem Pigsisren, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cenhubfem Pigsisren's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Cenhubfem Pigsisren's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of foxes.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.