Himgumbuncat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic porpoise.

Himgumbuncat created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Himgumbuncat, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Himgumbuncat, she will destroy your favourite star.

Himgumbuncat's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Himgumbuncat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near great tits while wearing magenta skirts.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Run away if four badgers approach from the south.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.