Lunzak is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, wise unicorn.

Lunzak created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lunzak, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lunzak, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Lunzak's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Lunzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never bounce in the presence of sharks.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near otters while wearing turquoise scarves.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.