Bonkappbet is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous zebra.

Bonkappbet created Africa four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkappbet, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bonkappbet, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bonkappbet's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bonkappbet's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Do not kill shrews.