Vonfarpark is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, two-faced mole.

Vonfarpark created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonfarpark, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vonfarpark, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Vonfarpark's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Vonfarpark's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Always look after injured squirrels.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.