Jipdabsas is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, competent goat.

Jipdabsas created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipdabsas, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jipdabsas, he will turn you into a rock.

Jipdabsas' most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Jipdabsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Jipdabsas.

5. Always obey Jipdabsas' priests.