Yarpnadhoncat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, witty pig.

Yarpnadhoncat created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpnadhoncat, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yarpnadhoncat, it will destroy your home solar system.

Yarpnadhoncat's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Yarpnadhoncat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not hurt voles.

3. Feed all hungry squirrels.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Yarpnadhoncat in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not keep eight aardvarks in a large pit.