Veenhinsterbed is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, intelligent scorpion.

Veenhinsterbed created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenhinsterbed, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Veenhinsterbed, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Veenhinsterbed's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Veenhinsterbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always help sharks.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.