Fonnabsand is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying fish.

Fonnabsand created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonnabsand, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fonnabsand, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Fonnabsand's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fonnabsand's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always obey Fonnabsand's priests.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fonnabsand.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.