Negbastflap is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing cobra.

Negbastflap created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negbastflap, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Negbastflap, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Negbastflap's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Negbastflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near sheep.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never hurt swans.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Respect your elders.