Futonttagnel is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, tiresome grasshopper.

Futonttagnel created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futonttagnel, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Futonttagnel, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Futonttagnel's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Futonttagnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. You must pray to Futonttagnel eight times a day.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.