Matlitmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, able human.

Matlitmeg created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Matlitmeg, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Matlitmeg, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Matlitmeg's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Matlitmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands red.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Never hurt dogs.