Guptarort Artfodbag Armstragbit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, thoughtless yak.

Guptarort Artfodbag Armstragbit created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guptarort Artfodbag Armstragbit, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Guptarort Artfodbag Armstragbit, it will turn you into a mouse.

Guptarort Artfodbag Armstragbit's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Guptarort Artfodbag Armstragbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never run in the presence of birds.

5. Retreat if eight snails approach from the east.