Methinven Bumligmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered hyena.

Methinven Bumligmeg created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Methinven Bumligmeg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Methinven Bumligmeg, she will turn you into a goat.

Methinven Bumligmeg's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Methinven Bumligmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tortoises.

2. Methinven Bumligmeg loves goats, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed pineapples to otters while wearing green shirts.

4. Never hurt manatees.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.