Spagsagben is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, overgenerous scorpion.

Spagsagben created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagsagben, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Spagsagben, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Spagsagben's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Spagsagben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not kill nematodes.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.