Goncissyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, prudent yak.

Goncissyatt created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Goncissyatt, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Goncissyatt, she will make you grow a tail.

Goncissyatt's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Goncissyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Feed all hungry bats.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.