Flamtailgup Fadnillbat Renjabquam is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witless shrew.

Flamtailgup Fadnillbat Renjabquam created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamtailgup Fadnillbat Renjabquam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flamtailgup Fadnillbat Renjabquam, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Flamtailgup Fadnillbat Renjabquam's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Flamtailgup Fadnillbat Renjabquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Flamtailgup Fadnillbat Renjabquam on top of all buildings.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flamtailgup Fadnillbat Renjabquam.

5. Never pour water over plants.