Tadkopsag is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, prudent capybara.

Tadkopsag created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadkopsag, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tadkopsag, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tadkopsag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tadkopsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never skip in the presence of birds.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Tadkopsag on top of all buildings.

4. Do not keep three seals in a large pit.

5. Always help sick ducks.